Discipline prevails as I pass on the "Lobster Dog Ride"

So my friend Marc, who has a long history of bashing parking lot crits, went to Belgium and France to race and ended up concluding he was a "cycletourist." So now he lives in the Pyrenees and rides his bike a ton. I sometimes wonder about myself. Skipping a big money crit last weekend in Philly in favor of riding my favorite rural roads in the Berkshires certainly reflects the cycletourist urge. I'm skipping Nationals right now - at this point I don't need to do big races for experience, and I am not strong enough to go and really give it in either the TT or RR - so I am staying home and getting ready for Altoona. But this leaves a lot of time for training and I almost caved to the cycletourist urge, joining some friends for a 106-mile ride along the CT coast to buy and consume (yikes!) a "lobster dog." I also resisted the urge to attend the mountain bike festival Pedrosfest, where I could have gone and crashed a ton and had equal volumes of fun. But instead I went to a bike race, the Owasco Stage Race, and I am glad I did: it was good training and a reminder of all I love about grass roots racing. I raced hard and remembered what it is to call the shots myself, to do a decent job with this after Fitchburg. I have reservations about my racing in a women's open field (ever since I showed up to a crit as a cat 4 and raced the New Zealand national team), but I think it was ok. Many thanks to the promoter, Dean Furnia, to my last-minute host family the Carrs, and to the racers in our small but determined women's field.

Anybody Want an Armwarmer?

Black, size small. Evidence mounts for one former teammate's conviction that arm, knee, and leg warmers be sold in sets of three. Of course, she also raced the Fitchburg time trial with one aero bar one year, and once catapulted herself headlong off a classic Tom Steven's drop-off during a Deven's cross race, having exclaimed beforehand how rather than scrub speed, one should actually sprint into it ... Wow we had some good times on Gearworks! In other news, I am returning to following world events such as wars and bombs as well as connecting with friends, one of whom is badly shaken as a result of being violently mugged outside her San Francisco apartment, both of which restore cycling drama to its rightful standing as rather unimportant and self-indulgent. Going to a wedding in Brooklyn tomorrow: a childhood friend is marrying a leading libertarian thinker/New York Post columnist. Perplexing world.

Change

I am leaving Targetraining, going to uncharted territory. It's the right move, one I have been considering for a long time and thought about carefully, but I am sad: I feel no joy in reneging on a commitment and in letting people down, especially my awesome teammates. Thanks everyone. See you out on the road. I think I will bury my sorrow in GIS.

Thoughts on the Race

Ok so I got some help on this one:
0. Overarching mistake was not taking charge of my own racing.
1. Big big big mistake was not going with Katie, and forget relying on teammates - I should have gone with Katie. Just because I am being patient and leading the race does not mean be an idiot.
2. Next mistake was not sending a bridge asap.
3. Next mistake was dithering with the chase. Terry had no obligation to chase.
4. Other mistake was not providing leadership on the road.
Today was crit: Arielle, Yardin, Hiroko, Nina (prior to crashing), Rebecca all rode spectacularly, Kathleen too in procuring the sprint jersey! Mishap and confusion at the end might have cost 3rd place.

Debrief our Wachusett Road Stage Debacle

I am going to lay out the facts, avoid commentary. You provide the comments, ok?

We entered the race with me in 1^st, 20 seconds ahead of Kathleen (in the sprint jersey), then Megan Gaurnier of Terry, then Hiroko 9 seconds back, then Rebecca 28 seconds behind her. Goals were to keep the leader’s jersey (I think but am not entirely clear that we wanted to keep it for me), keep the points jersey, and win the stage. The plan was for Nina and Arielle to cover moves in the first three laps of the race, then this role would fall on Rebecca and Hiroko. Kathleen would get the sprints. If the race was still together late, Rebecca and Hiroko had license to attack. On the final climb, ideally we could ride it together, not take responsibility for driving it, and try to win the stage if we could do this without jeopardizing the leader's jersey. Rebecca was calling the shots on the radio, with Greg in the caravan. The race started slow slow, 15mph slow. I was chilling out, not super well positioned, maybe 20-30^th, Kathleen too. Arielle and Nina covered one early attack, ending up in a little group that soon came back. They covered a few more attacks. Arielle told me she was dying, wouldn’t be around for long – fine, all anyone can do is her best effort. On the second of six 11-mile loops, a Cascade rider attacked and got a gap. (Hiroko told me later she could have gone with it, or at least jumped across, but didn’t because Arielle and Nina were in charge of the first 3 laps.) I said on the radio “That is a dangerous rider.” Greg said “Chill out.” Tibco rider/friend/former teammate Katie Lambden went across. I radioed that we had two riders up the road. We rode 15 mph for at least 5 minutes. The gap ballooned to over one minute. By this time Arielle and Nina were gone. Rebecca went to the front and started riding moderate tempo. The gap grew. Greg tried to get us to get Terry to help chase. They would not. He called on all four of us to rotate through. I was basically floating, everyone was. It was a calm chase. NEBC helped, as well as a few others, but it wasn’t well organized. Kathleen took one long pull up the Princeton climb, which was very strong, but which prompted one strong New England rider to say to me “people will help with the chase but you can’t kill us on the climb,” which was entirely right. The gap did not come down. Meanwhile, Greg was getting mad at Terry, telling me to yell at them - give me a break, I do not yell at people on demand. I was mad too, especially when they started attacking us: they were going to lose third place, and it seemed they were racing against us rather than racing for the podium. I actually did yell when Terry rider Kerry Litka attacked again as my team was chasing, not because I was doing as I was told, but because I was frustrated with their tactics. It just didn’t make sense, I mean she is a strong climber – did she think she would stay away or was she just trying to make things difficult for us? She should be waiting for the final climb, not attacking on a flat. I did something also that seemed sort of like a good idea, but I guess wasn’t: when then men’s pro field passed us, I slipped ahead, thinking it was pretty likely no one would notice I was off the front. It was kind of risky to think I could bridge from 30 miles out, but in retrospect maybe not a bad idea. So I was off the front, and the motorcycle official assured me that what I had done was kosher, that I hadn’t drafted off the men, but then an official car came and told me to return to the field. The moto official didn’t agree with the call, but I sat up and went back. Another distraction for the chase I guess. Meanwhile Greg was getting more and more frustrated with Terry and with their attacking us – he started calling on us to attack rather than chase. Was the point to accelerate the chase, or actually send someone across? The gap was well over two minutes. I asked both Kathleen and Hiroko if they could go the distance and they said no. Hiroko followed orders and launched some attacks. Hiroko has exquisite long-distance time trial fitness (she calls herself “one-speed Hiroko” and said about Thursday time trial – “you know me I could go that pace for another half an hour), but attacking efforts will kill her. I had some doubts about the merit of having her attack on flats. With a lap and a half to go the gap was 3:30. I started chasing harder, took it up the Princeton climb, knowing I was compromising my ability to do the final climb. I wasn’t sure what to do, but at this rate we were definitely going to lose the leader’s jersey - we had to do something fast. Rebecca had killed herself in the chase, was gone; Hiroko pretty tired. Two considerations came into my mind at this point: how are Kathleen and I going to measure up against each other on the final climb, and who can drive the chase better? Kathleen identifies herself as a climber, has had some great climbing results in the past, better than mine. I consider myself a strong all-arounder, in a regional field I can climb fine. For sure Greg considers Kathleen to be climbing much better than me, and sometimes people’s expectations of you can become a self-fulfilling prophesy, in both positive and negative ways (in this case negative). In the team environment you need to be careful not to let this sort of thing get to your head, to let yourself get pigeon-holed. It’s not as though Wachusett is a 20k mountain. And I had a 20 second head start. But that said, I felt pretty awful, which contributed to doubt, and maybe I also shied away from the responsibility of needing to deliver. I was having one of those days where I felt bad to the point that I kept feeling like my bike was broken, brake rubbing (which it was for a while), compact crankset feeling pretty bad, etc (but in retrospect I think this was just a result of our going so slow). But we did not have a plan for what to do if Kathleen or I needed to be sacrificed. The question of who could climb better was kind of mute given the second consideration of who could drive it better to bring the gap down: this is something I know I can do. So I got on the radio, with a little over one lap to go, asked Greg explicitly if he wanted me to drive it, knowing it would kill me for the climb, and he said yes. So I did, and I don’t mean rolling through, I mean driving it. We were going fast! I actually love doing this, though not necessarily when I am losing the lead in the biggest race I’ve ever led, and when I feel like tactical bungling got us into this situation. Hiroko took some good pulls but she had spent a lot of energy already. I thought I would blow before the Princeton climb but I drove it all the way up (Hiroko did blow), over the top, into the turn into Wachusett, then blew finally as the pitch turned up. I sat up, and it turned out there were maybe 12 riders left, out of probably 30. That was satisfying. In just over one l lap, the gap had gone from 3:30 to 1:30. Would it be enough? Unfortunately not. The phenomenal breakaway of Genevieve Gauthier and Katie Lambden (yeah Katie!!!!) stayed away for 1-2 on the stage, followed by young Charlottesville climber Rachel. Kathleen didn’t have her best climb, and when the math was over, she was in 3^rd, 38 seconds out of the lead, behind Genevieve and Katie. Because the field had been shattered by the chase, even though I was crawling up the climb, I am surprisingly still in 9^th place, 2:00 off the lead. What a debacle. I have some ideas about where the key mistakes were made, about what I could have done differently, how about you?

Friday Circuit Race

Race went quite well. Kathleen got the points jersey; I stayed in orange and got second on the stage. The team helped out with the sprint lead-outs, felt they wasted a lot of energy. Communication was definitely lacking between sprinter and lead-out train. It’s that period of team racing resulting in you all doing worse than you would if racing alone, until it clicks.

My Favorite Bike Race

Fitchburg is here again! I've raced Fitchburg every year since 1998, and I love it because it is THE New England stage race, a race where I feel surrounded by friends. This year as a non-NRC race, the women's field is small and without the pro representation of the past (but don't get me wrong, there are a lot of good riders here!). Next year I hope the race can be back to full glory, but for now, game on! The time trial this year was up up up. I measured the effort pretty well, and managed to win. I thought it was possible, wanted it a LOT. My team was crazy strong; we finished 1st, 2nd, 4th, and 5th. I'm ready to have fun and suffer bigtime to do the best I can.

Where have I been?

Did I abandon the blog? Well, not exactly. The blog needs to be honest, but I also want it to be fun and positive. So what do you do when you’ve been struggling, finding yourself in challenging situations, experiencing some times when racing the bike is not so fun? You try to make things better, and this doesn’t always involve documentation. I will say this: team racing at its best is so much more rewarding than racing for yourself – you open up possibilities, race for other people beyond what you perceived possible, and communally create and experience success and failure. At its worst, other aspects of team racing stand out: lack of control of your schedule, the patience required for the inherent inefficiency of group endeavors, the degree to which you are defined by a group that may not always represent your values, the vast quantities of time you spend with associates who are friends but likely not best friends, all while you are so busy in the rest of your life that you barely have time to see your family and dearest friends. And apathy and frustration and wanting to go home do not exactly fuel good bike racing. But here’s a quick recap:

Joy in Minnesota

I think we had hoped this would be a breakthrough for team racing, given our strong roster of Mandy, Kathleen, Andrea, Rebecca, and new riders Arielle Filiberti and Yarden Gollan. It turned out a bit differently – Mandy couldn’t race, Yarden crashed out on the first day, and Arielle and Kathleen crashed into each other on day two, badly bruising four knees and breaking one fork and resulting in Kathleen dropping out of the race on the last day. The race turned out to be rather negative, with the strongest teams preferring to wait for selective terrain rather than go on the attack. It was largely determined on the basis of a time trial, time bonuses, and extremely steep uphills. A small team like ours wasn’t in a position to dictate the course of the race. And so we followed. It was the first time in a while I’ve ridden for gc, because on the big teams you get used to valuing podiums above all else, of not caring about top 10 or top 20. It was probably a good experience for me, forcing patience. And you know, it was pretty fun! I dug deep up those steep hills and did ok. Exacted some revenge on the Stillwater course, the only bike race I’ve ever dropped out of, as I finished just off the main (whittled) group. I would up 16^th on gc, Robin 19^th. Rebecca and Arielle are improving to past form quickly, in that tricky stage where one needs to be patient and just believe that the fitness will return, and it will. Andrea finished the race, a major accomplishment after Montreal WC, Montreal Stage Race, and PEI. She needs a rest! Next up, Fitchburg!

Smelling Cheesesteak on Manyunk Wall

This was the easiest Philly yet, a pretty negative race which surprised me given some teams lacking pure sprinters (Webcor and Lipton). The race still sketches me out in the beginning, but I did better with positioning than ever. I attacked on the final straightaway into Lemon and Strawberry Hills. Maybe this wasn’t the smartest, a kind of self-defeatest move that reflects my lack of confidence in my own ability to finish this bunch sprint well. My guest rider teammate Ally Brandt had told me she wanted to attack on Lemon Hill, so I brought her up, and that was it – I blew. But surprisingly I chased down the group after getting dropped, which makes me think I should have raced for the finish myself. But Ally got 16^th and I’m glad to have contributed. Here's a picture of my friend and former teammate Rebecca Wellons, but you can see me in the background.

Montreal Stage Race - fast fast

Welcome to nighttime racing. Most stages started at 5:30 or 6:00pm -100k stages! The race started with a 32-corner 14k circuit that we did 9 times or so. It was faster than any race I’ve done all year. Positioning was the key and was majorly challenging for me. Hiroko was riding super well, hung in there. I got dropped, weary from too much sprinting out of corners. I chased for a whole lap through the caravan and caught back on, but came off soon after. Kathleen was dropped and in a group about 2 seconds ahead of me that she drove back onto the group, unaware I was right behind even though I radioed (she had evidently taken the radio out of her ear). I found this quite frustrating, a missed opportunity for teammates to help each other out. I was pretty mad to have been dropped so the next day I went on a suicide break about 2 miles into a 110k race. My gc was over and I just needed to assert I was there to race. Nobody really cared – the big German teams could pull anything back at will. I was hoping the lightning and torrential rain would work in my favor, but the course wasn’t technical enough. I stayed out there for 30k, then got caught and finished in the group. The race went on, short tt and crit in Little Italy, during both of which I suffered from apathy. The final day was pretty fun – I really wanted a break but nobody would have it, but considered the race a good training effort and did some quality caravan chasing as a result of wasting energy attacking. Judith Arndt of T-Mobile won to overall, rock star that she is.

Montreal World Cup – May 28 or so

This is an epic race of survival – 11 laps of a crit course with a hard 1-mile climb and the best riders in the world. Made it about halfway through until the climbers lit it up and that was that. A race like this emphasizes the need to be clear on goals, and if racing with the best for experience and challenge is a goal, don’t miss this one.